April 12, 2011

I was going to post some of my pictures from New York from two weekends ago. And then I realized those can wait, like most things. I, as I think most people do, make checklists for myself (Ben encourages me to do it because I procrastinate) but sometimes I find myself all too consumed with my checklists. I make myself busy trying to cross off everything on one checklist only to realize that I better create another checklist since I’m on a roll of accomplishing things. I become so consumed with what needs to be done that I put everything aside just to cross off a couple of lines. Tonight I could have posted my pictures while I quickly ate dinner by myself or I could have went out to eat with my daddy. (Yes I still call my parents mommy and daddy because to me they make me feel safe)

I chose to eat dinner with my daddy because I’m still a daddy’s girl and always will be. And I won’t go into all of the details that went into our two hour dinner/conversation. But I did realize a couple of things: My daddy and I have the best relationship, he believes in me even when I don’t and I feel like I’m on the verge of something.

I told my dad tonight that God sometimes has to kick me in the butt to get me on the right track, he of course laughed. I’m not proud of my resistance but thank goodness God does or else I would still be trying to major in Architectural Engineering or without a job because I wanted the “perfect” one. I have this feeling that a very large kick in the butt is coming and while I feel like/hope it has to do with my photography, I know that and keep reminding myself that God’s got everything under control He’ll take care of me.

So instead of doing what was on the checklist I decided to document today because it feels important.

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